top of page
Search

A kilt for a king

I need to refocus, to keep only positive thoughts just now. Allow my fears and uncertainties to wander off and get lost for a little while.

Granted sooner or later they will return, just can’t be just now. So today’s post is going to be different.


I talk about creating a legacy for the autistic community. However I don’t want to talk about my legacy today, but my Grandfather’s.


Aged 13, his mum passed away, leaving him to care for his younger brother and sister. He left home at 15 to work on the LMS railway as a fireman (stoking the fire). During WWII German air attacks would target trains because the fire for the engine kept them visible at night. He joined the Highland regiment the Black Watch at 18. He subsequently trained as a master tailor & kiltmaker, then transferred to the Gordon Highlanders.


When he was 55, he made a kilt and gifted the wearer his own personal kilt pin. Something that man, has worn many times over the years.


So this is to my granddad, Arthur Varley, he had to fight for his quality of life and help provide the foundations for his brother and sister’s lives too. However he never gave up...

...and made a kilt for a king.


To see the kilt he made, please take a look at this footage from the BBC archive – fb.watch/fvpXvvhcgM/


All my best and love

Ross


Words – Ross A Fraser

Graphic Design App – Canva

10 views2 comments

PTSD Aware

I try to manage my mind by not processing too much at any given time. To try and work through thoughts as they come so that I can use them as fuel. Not sitting in the dark as the house burns, it felt like my head was like that for too long.


I had a really bad meltdown yesterday because my fears overcame me completely. Fears of months of escalating pain, fears of the future and fears of limited choices.


I mentally locked myself away to the point I wasn’t making future plans. In fact I never thought I’d survive childhood so I didn’t learn how to take care of myself financially or otherwise. Apart from wanting my wife to be in my life, I wasn’t consciously deciding but reacting. That’s literally the only decision I know I made.


I was given back conscious control last year and used it to build mylifeautistic. However I am basically starting from scratch at 43. With a condition I have had to fight for 15 years already. As well as living in a place which means 6/7 months can be a mix of absolutely unbearable pain and blackouts.


For the first time I am trying to plan for the future. Find a way to get somewhere that gives us more choices. For me that’s as simple as going for a walk with my wife and daughter to the beach or a park. Getting to take my family for a meal. They seem so simple but so far away too. Like watching a rope from a hot air balloon drag along the ground, but just too fast to catch.


I feel like the bars that kept me caged have gone, but maybe there too long. The toughest thing when the fears overwhelm. When my mind feels like it’s being stalked... my instincts use reinforcement of fear, but it’s “they are trying to kill you”. An echo going back to the camping trip and 13, but that thought in my head when looking at my wife and daughter, I can’t bear that. I must admit sometimes when hitting my head in a meltdown I wish I would just knock myself out so it would end. So that I can start recovering and know that I can get back to the loving arms of my family again. Not watching them from a distance because I can’t be touched.


All my best and love

Ross


Words – Ross A Fraser

Graphic Design App – Canva

6 views1 comment

Judicial system

I have watched every Ally McBeal, Suits, Harry’s Law, For Life and Better Call Saul episode but happily admit to no real world knowledge of the law. However, I have often questioned the way the legal system works in one particular area. If people can lie but some people prefer honesty how is that taken into account when it comes to court. How can you objectively consider evidence if you may be judging someone by the way others think.


Juries are selected from the population, a cross section of people. That may include neurodivergent people but the likelihood is a neurotypical viewpoint would be more prevalent. I believe that this could be resolved by specifically having neurotypical people working within the legal system (even just for oversight).


How can we say the legal system is just, if a neurodivergent viewpoint isn’t expressly considered or potentially not even truly understood. It would allow for a much fairer and just system, and may reduce wrongful imprisonments. At the very least it will give the judge different viewpoints to consider. Potentially very different views of the same event. Isn’t that the judge’s job, to consider all the information and perspectives, make a fair decision from a learned and considered person.


Understanding actions requires understanding the mind, and also mindset of the accused or defendant.


At the very least this should be done in cases with known neurodivergent people. Having an expert for court is all well and good but personally I think it really needs someone involved during every step. I also think peer led mental health support should be offered, because if the accusation is wrong, the person proved innocent. They will still bear the mental scars from it if not helped to heal. Neurodivergence when it comes to the legal system, cannot be an afterthought.


All my best and love

Ross


Words – Ross A Fraser

Graphic Design App – Canva

2 views1 comment
bottom of page