Updated: Aug 18
How did you keep a relationship with your wife for so long if you couldn’t communicate with her?
I could to an extent, but she also misread me a lot. Mistaking fear or frustration for anger. Thinking I’d “go off in a huff”, when I couldn’t speak and I isolated myself. However, the bond I felt at the beginning barely ever broke. She thought her boyfriend/husband was the strong silent type, her words.
She didn’t always need my words, because I would show her how I felt as often as I could. It was often small gestures, but, always from the heart.
I remember writing everything I loved about her on hearts I cut out of paper. Leaving them scattered all over the living room when I went to bed. My communication skills were limited, however my love for her is endless. I made sure I showed her that as often as I could. I found the ability to communicate by having a conversation with my friend. However, my wife’s love gave me shelter from the storms I had been living in for too long. She fell in love with me at one of the lowest points in my life ... and I didn’t know why.
I got too used to people leaving my life. To feeling the void, the emptiness that comes from isolation. She surrounded me with love and compassion, sometimes all I could script was “I care for you” but it meant more. I didn’t get the opportunity to care for a lot of people. Simply because the amount of people in my life at any given time was always limited. What I wanted to say, is her love was the life raft that I so desperately needed. I couldn’t, but I could show her, so I did.
All our best and love
Ross Fraser and Jeni Dern
Words – Ross A Fraser
Graphic Design App – Canva