I wish I could say I’ve been drawing but it didn’t really happen. I looked into some ideas for content for the mylifeautistic YouTube channel yesterday. I planned on drawing most of the day today. Unfortunately an incredibly severe PTSD episode put an end to my plans.
It was the first time I had memories replay while awake. Not a visualisation but memories unlocking and replaying. An intensely frightening experience.
I am going to need to take time to recover. I get a lot of PTSD episodes, I wake from them a lot in the winter. However this was truly terrible, a flood of masked memories and masked emotions hit me and ... well you can see the effect it’s had.
I will pop up again soon. I had no way to prepare for this, no clue it was coming. They are always the hardest ones to deal with, it’s heightened by it coming out of nowhere. I don’t know if I’ll discuss the memory when I’m back or not. I suspect not, but mainly because I can’t go through that again so soon.
Take care of yourselves everyone, look after your minds and each other. I may be back next week, I really don’t know right now. But, you know me, I’m never away long.
All our best and love
Ross Fraser and Jeni Dern
Words – Ross Fraser