Defined by a different mind
I am a man attracted to a woman therefore I must see a woman’s body as sexual.
It’s a mental connection for me, not a physical one that is anchored in the mind. An individuals body can become an extension of the mind, but only if a very deep mental connection is there first, and only in the moment.
I shout at times therefore I must be angry.
I can not make any sound when angry, none at all. Shouting is fear or frustration for me, let me vent and release, I can calm down. Saying things like “you’re so angry” or “stop shouting” increases frustration and makes it worse.
I look in different places when talking therefore I’m lying.
If my brain lateralisation theory is correct then all looking in different places means is I’m thinking. Accessing different areas and sides of my brain to retrieve the thought or information to articulate.
I react around people therefore I am shifty or strange.
Mental proximity alert is like ripples in a pond. If each person is a stone and had impact ripples around their body when those ripples overlap mine, I react. The more people, less space, the bigger the reaction, potentially only internally because people don’t understand and can make situations like that worse too easily.
I won’t look people in the eye therefore I’m not paying attention or looking at a woman’s chest.
Other people made looking at them in the eyes uncomfortable. “He’s staring at me...”, “Look at me when I’m talking to you”, “What you staring at?” plus that happening when mentally dissociated due to stress is very jarring. As for where I’m looking, I learned about life from TV, I heard woman when they said “My eyes are up here” I always respected that. So when I have been accused of looking there in the past, I was focused on looking at their mouth or chin so it at least looked like I was looking at their face, or so I thought anyway.
I had fears therefore I am not strong willed or trying .
Instinctually reinforced fear has to be adapted to. Fear of heights, spiders, bee’s and people... that was all thoughts put in my head by others. Fears transferred by words or actions that over time became my own fears.
All my best and love
Words – Ross A Fraser
Graphic Design App – Canva
#mentalhealthadvocate #together #community #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance