Being misunderstood and picked up incorrectly when communicating was incredibly disorienting. I’ve been called inconsiderate so many times throughout my life. I simply stopped talking to people several times, leading to massive periods of isolation. The thing is, the way my mind works I consider all the information, I don’t really have a choice in that. However if you don’t realise, you simply don’t see all that information. It’s not only frustrating but also comes out if the blue every single time. If my thoughts were audible what they would have heard was “what the hell just happened”. I swear those words have probably gone through my head more than any others. I think that can assist in making you feel really isolated. It feels like you are you talking, then without warning your words are loaded into a shotgun and fired back at you. If I upset someone I will take ownership of that. Just because it wasn’t meant doesn’t nullify their feelings. They are still valid even if it was a misunderstanding. However, that’s where a lot of my negative self image came from. I felt like an absolutely horrible person, just because I didn’t see the same view. This was probably the toughest thing to get my head around. I didn’t have access to people because I wasn’t understood. So I paid more attention to TV, the relationships shown there, how they communicate. I assumed adults when joking used adult humour with each other, as is often the case on TV. I learned that people joke a lot to break the ice, especially on first contact. But that didn’t make me a better communicator. It meant that misunderstandings became bigger and had more extreme reactions. I learn from media created by neurotypical people and when I use that communication style I’m viewed as extremely offensive and disrespectful. Imagine what it feels like to realise that in your forties. Please feel free to share any of my posts and please like or follow to be notified of future posts. All the best Ross www.mylifeautistic.com Words – Ross A Fraser Graphic Design App – Canva #NewLifeAutistic
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