Christmas and birthdays were tough, scripting meant I felt separated for many years. I also would script what I wanted which was often what was advertised on TV the most. This meant I often didn’t get what I wanted and had no real way of expressing that. I also struggled with family, I wanted to have a deeper relationship and couldn’t get it.
My diagnosis changed that, my friend helped me to express myself in a way I didn’t think was possible. I had to reset some of my parents memories so they could see my view, my experience and different perspective. I found the relationship with my family (mainly my mum and dad) that I had yearned for. My mum actually apologised last year, I told her that it wasn’t necessary. The understanding of autism when I was a child wasn’t there. I pointed out that parents are still looking for the right support and advice. That I know they tried and I wasn’t going to blame them for being given the wrong advice. That’s really what it came down to. I must admit though I did appreciate that my mum recognised that they didn’t understand me. I guess it was important to know that they see me now.
This Christmas was different, it was really relaxed and I got some amazing presents. I actually loved everything I got which I think is a first for me. I think what changed was my family recognised that they don’t need to understand why I am drawn to something. Just know that I understand the reason. My parents got me the Funko anniversary set and a couple of really cool t-shirts. I guess this year felt different because I could just be me. I must admit it felt pretty wonderful.
All our best and love
Ross Fraser and Jeni Dern
Written by – Ross Fraser