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Category 5 Meltdown

Right now I feel like I'm decoding all the negatives in my life that I took as 100% fact. Being autistic gives me an innocent outlook at life. I personally do not understand how the average person makes it in life without being crippled by all the negatives in this world. In my life I need calm. I need people around me that don't bring violence and cruelty into my world. Most days I can't even handle news broadcasts about yet another horror going on in the world. Life would be so much easier if we all hung on to our childhood innocence. I try to understand but eventually need to retreat. Last night being one of those moments where the world became to much to handle. If meltdowns were like hurricanes mine last night was around a category 5. I tried to evacuate but left to late. The waves washed over me and swallowed me whole. It took time for my rescuer to reach me and even longer to pull me out. Without him I would most likely still be lost. I am one of the lucky few. I have an amazing husband who is willing to sit by my side and be what I need. He sees my meltdowns for what they are. When I lash he knows it's not me speaking. It's just my way of protecting myself in such a vulnerable place. When my meltdowns subsidie he helps make sense of everything that was said and felt. Without him I don't believe I would still be here. My perception of myself is often negative but my husband always sees the true beauty buried deep under the surface. This is Me - Jeni Curtis Slowly recovering from a meltdown. Be You - Find your strength to keep fighting. ❤️ 🫂 ❤️

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