First stop was HMV: I wanted to go in and see if there were any Funko Pops that my daughter wanted, and get a Funko Soda Pop for myself. They had a decent range of Pops but only three Soda cans. I picked up a Loki and got my daughter a mystery box with a selection of items. A pencil case, pencil set (from her favourite game), a notebook, postcard, keyring and Nintendo 64 mug. A really decent selection for £10, I have to admit, and she was really happy. Next stop was Primark, to get something for my wife.
I was really struggling, my mobility becoming a real problem, especially when trying to get on and off an escalator. I hate those things: I had real difficulty moving quickly enough to step off at the top. I genuinely thought I was going to end up falling backwards down the moving metal steps. Physically shaking, head pounding, I began looking for something for my wife. I must admit I wish I had a lot more focus. I was too aware of everyone around me, of noise and lack of space. Of bloody everything.
I got her a oversized Simpsons nightshirt for summer (to help with the hot flashes) and my daughter gave her the notebook from her mystery box. I had planned on going to get flowers and chocolates next, as well as dinner from Marks and Spencer and then get the train; this is where it became too much for me.
I couldn’t focus, and was being herded by all the people around me: getting disorientated, my senses fluctuating, even with my blue lens glasses on, and my Calmer earbuds in. It was overwhelming and I couldn’t cope with the constant sensory input anymore. I couldn’t think clearly, and my head was pounding. I basically lost time just trying to find a way out. We got a mask and book somewhere, but can’t remember when or where. Getting to the train with 3 minutes to spare I was relieved that it was done.
But I wanted to do more. I wanted to get more for my wife, and make dinner. That didn’t happen, and she saw how tough it had been on me, to do what I did manage to do very clearly when I returned home. She loved her top and notebook and it was nice to see Megan smiling so much. It was worth it for that, 100 times over. It’s just a shame that 3 hours in Aberdeen will take days for me to recover from.
All our best and love
Ross Fraser and Jeni Curtis
Words – Ross Fraser
Graphic Design App – Canva